Exercise #1 Update: Make a List of Everything You Think About Yourself (Sorry for the delay.)
The first exercise was draining. I actually became quite emotional as every negative thought about me throughout the years surfaced. A simple task like making a list turned quickly into an arduous one. I started off with like three maybe four good thoughts and then I hit this gigantic wall of self-loathing. Every minuscule terrible thing ever spoken about me or to me leaped onto the page. Comments from grade school even popped into my head. Horrible nicknames, abusive things my parents have said during my childhood, angry statements from boyfriends of the past, and my own endless thoughts about myself were overwhelming. In the end I had a long sheet of notebook paper describing someone I do not want to be and making me question my concept of who I am.
Being A 'You Suck' Collector
Doing this exercise made me realize I have a lot of work to do. There are so many powerful negative thoughts that I carry with me. I suppose that was the purpose of the exercise to get a bold reality check on how you view yourself. It was disturbing for me. I never think about those things. I guess I secretly took up the hobby of a 'You Suck' collector. Any put downs or criticisms that come at me I've been taking them in to display on my mental 'Who I Am' bookshelf. Not a good idea.
I know now this process isn't going to be easy but it will be life changing. Although, it took me several days to do the first part of this exercise I think I'm ready for part two. Are you?
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