First Step to Loving Yourself

The first incredible website I found online with the topic of self-love is called First Love You. This site has an assortment of really great articles on learning to love yourself. I recommend checking it out. Their technique focuses on becoming Alpha Females/Males and tapping deep into your personal power. It's a cool concept. They also have a lot of relationship and dating advice. I really liked the mental exercises suggested in some of the articles. So, for the next few days I'm going to work on them and report back.

First Step to Loving Yourself (www.firstloveyou.com)

We give and nurture… sometimes to the point of resentment… and then expect others to fill our emotional well. It simply doesn’t work that way.

The first step in learning how to love yourself is healing your past.

It’s so important to figure out WHY you believe what you do about yourself, and HOW you came to believe it.

Self-Esteem Exercise #1 - Make a List of Everything You Think About Yourself

Grab a piece of paper and a pen and write your name in big letters at the top. Allow yourself to write freely all over the page to answer the question “Who am I?”. You might start with your job title, or some role that you play (“daughter to so-and-so” or “godmother to ______”), and then you may move on to more descriptive words. “I am strong”, “I am weak”, “I am clumsy”, “I’m not happy all the time”, “I laugh a lot”.

Don’t just scratch the surface on this. Try to recall every little thing that someone has said about you. Write down every nickname people have given you. Write down what your high school sweetheart used to call you. Write what your old boss said about you in your last performance review. Write down every rumor you’ve heard about yourself. Write and think, write and think. Dig deep.

After you do this, take a look at your list. What ideas from your past have you been carrying around? What thoughts have shaped your reality? What is your ‘Ego’ made of?

How to Love Yourself - Louise Hay's Steps

How to Love Yourself
By: Louise Hay

1. Stop all criticism: Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

2. Don't scare yourself: Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

3. Be gentle and kind and patient: Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

4. Be kind to your mind: Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change the thoughts.

5. Praise yourself: Criticism breaks the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

6. Support yourself: Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends, and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

7. Be loving to your negatives: Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So. lovingly release the old negative patterns.

8. Take care of your body: Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

9. Mirror work: Look into your own eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say: "I love you, I really love you!"

10. LOVE YOURSELF - DO IT NOW! Don't wait until you get well or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin NOW - do the best you can.

What is Self Esteem?

Self-esteem is your opinion of yourself. High self esteem is a good opinion of yourself and low self esteem is a bad opinion of yourself.

Self-confidence is the self-assuredness in one's personal judgment, ability, power, etc., sometimes manifested excessively.

To accept and love yourself unconditionally is to:

* Place no condition on yourself as to how to behave or what to be in order to receive self-acceptance and self-love.
* Not use "if-then" clauses in establishing conditions for accepting and loving yourself.
* Take a risk to be open and vulnerable to who you are with no preset limits or expectations.
* Accept and love yourself for the fact that you exist rather than for what you do.
* Give yourself the respect and latitude to be yourself rather than to be what others want or expect you to be.
* Set the stage for yourself to feel warmth, caring and concern for yourself which results in your growing in self-esteem and self-worth.