Becoming What You Want to Be – Notes Book #1

In the third chapter of 365 Steps to Self-Confidence (book #1) readers are asked to examine where their self-esteem issues come from. Although there are several factors that contribute in the end confidence or lack of is learned. Anything learned can be altered or improved.

Staying positive is essential for this process of growth. Sow seeds of confidence daily. Think good things about yourself and your potential.

Exercise #18 – Grab an index card and write down the following:

‘I greet every new day with firm commitment to raising my confidence, I will do whatever is required to become more confident.’

Place it where you can see it each morning upon waking. Silently repeat it and a reminder to the commitment you’ve made to yourself.

How Confident Are You? - Notes Book #1

In the second chapter of 365 Steps to Self-Confidence (book #1) the author addresses how confidence relates to self-image and self-esteem. The definitions stood out to me the most.

Self-image - the way you see yourself.

Self-Worth – value someone places on oneself. For example how worthy someone may think they are to receive joy, love, and success.

Competence - the beliefs about your capacity to achieve and considered the core of confidence.

Belonging – feelings of self acceptance and respect by others.

All of these factors determine overall self-esteem.

Exercise #8 – How confident are you? Rate it on a scale of 0-10. What would you like it to be? I think I’m about at a 5 as far as confidence goes. It varies from day to day. I’d like to be at a 10 or beyond that if possible.

Exercise #9 &10 – Rate self-worth. On average a 5/6. How you relate to others out of 10? Where would you like to be on that same scale? Right now a 6 and I’d like to be at 10.

Exercise #11 is the same as the one I did earlier Self-Esteem Exercise #1: The List and #12 is another rating exercise for specific attributes like health and happiness. This chapter gave me a more in-depth perspective on where I am right now in my own personal growth.

Additional Notes:

Try smiling at yourself in a mirror each morning and night before going to bed. It will help program your mind towards acceptance.

Remember, your potential is limitless.

365 Steps to Self-Confidence

I found this interesting download for the ebook 365 Steps to Self-Confidence: A Programme for Personal Transformation in Just a Few Minutes a Day. The book is divided into 52 sections focusing on 7 specific areas of growth covering:

* Deciding to be confident
* Self-awareness
* Thinking confidently
* Using your imagination to improve self-image
* Acting with confidence
* Confident communication

Each section is loaded with helpful tips and exercises to help boost self-esteem and confidence. For the next couple of weeks I'll be reading this book and posting about my experiences along with other information I find on my journey to self-love. Listed below is the download link.

http://rapidshare.com/files/131647904/365.zip

High School Reunion Star Cyndi & Self-Esteem

It's this reality TV show on the TV Land Network called 'High School Reunion' that I've been watching regularly. It airs every Wednesday at 10pm. I've always been a reality TV addict but this is my first time tuning in this season.

I was never too keen on the show's concept of living with old high school classmates. Personally, I hated high school. It wasn't fun for me. I could totally relate to the character Ned in the film '17 Again' when his friend asks him to go back to high school with him and he says, "No...way, I made a promise to myself a long time ago that once I left I would never go back to that god forsaking place again."

In the show 16 classmates reunite to rekindle the past or get closure. There's this set of women on the show that were part of the 'popular hot chick clique' and called themselves Summer Girls. They also have a gay guy that used to get beat up in high school, the bully, the nerd, the cheerleader, and etc. The former nerd is a now attractive blond named Cyndi who happens to work as a stripper now. During this week's episode Cyndi made it obvious that she still carried a chip on her shoulders from the traumatic experiences of high school. Self-esteem and confidence or the lack of really plays a major role in the lives of the former classmates.

Self-Esteem in High School

While I watched the episode I couldn't help but think back to my own high school days and the comments that affected my image then and even today. Some of the remarks I wrote on the 'Who Am I? List' exercise from Wednesday were from that time. Isn't it crazy how the people we meet often shape our lives.

Cyndi addresses her struggle with self-esteem in her TV Land Blog post. Check it out!
Cyndi's Personal Thoughts in Blog Post - Beautiful, Inside and Out

For some, high school was paradise. For others, it was an unforgettable nightmare. Twenty years after graduation, 16 classmates from Chaparral High School's Class of '89 reunite on the tropical Hawaiian island of Kauai to relive their high school glory days. The Football Star, The Nerd, The Cheerleader, The Ladies Man – they're all back and things haven't changed as bitter rivalries resurface and old flames reignite.
High School Reunion TV Show | Chaparral High Class of '89 | TVLand.com

First Step to Loving Yourself

The first incredible website I found online with the topic of self-love is called First Love You. This site has an assortment of really great articles on learning to love yourself. I recommend checking it out. Their technique focuses on becoming Alpha Females/Males and tapping deep into your personal power. It's a cool concept. They also have a lot of relationship and dating advice. I really liked the mental exercises suggested in some of the articles. So, for the next few days I'm going to work on them and report back.

First Step to Loving Yourself (www.firstloveyou.com)

We give and nurture… sometimes to the point of resentment… and then expect others to fill our emotional well. It simply doesn’t work that way.

The first step in learning how to love yourself is healing your past.

It’s so important to figure out WHY you believe what you do about yourself, and HOW you came to believe it.

Self-Esteem Exercise #1 - Make a List of Everything You Think About Yourself

Grab a piece of paper and a pen and write your name in big letters at the top. Allow yourself to write freely all over the page to answer the question “Who am I?”. You might start with your job title, or some role that you play (“daughter to so-and-so” or “godmother to ______”), and then you may move on to more descriptive words. “I am strong”, “I am weak”, “I am clumsy”, “I’m not happy all the time”, “I laugh a lot”.

Don’t just scratch the surface on this. Try to recall every little thing that someone has said about you. Write down every nickname people have given you. Write down what your high school sweetheart used to call you. Write what your old boss said about you in your last performance review. Write down every rumor you’ve heard about yourself. Write and think, write and think. Dig deep.

After you do this, take a look at your list. What ideas from your past have you been carrying around? What thoughts have shaped your reality? What is your ‘Ego’ made of?

What is Self Esteem?

Self-esteem is your opinion of yourself. High self esteem is a good opinion of yourself and low self esteem is a bad opinion of yourself.

Self-confidence is the self-assuredness in one's personal judgment, ability, power, etc., sometimes manifested excessively.

To accept and love yourself unconditionally is to:

* Place no condition on yourself as to how to behave or what to be in order to receive self-acceptance and self-love.
* Not use "if-then" clauses in establishing conditions for accepting and loving yourself.
* Take a risk to be open and vulnerable to who you are with no preset limits or expectations.
* Accept and love yourself for the fact that you exist rather than for what you do.
* Give yourself the respect and latitude to be yourself rather than to be what others want or expect you to be.
* Set the stage for yourself to feel warmth, caring and concern for yourself which results in your growing in self-esteem and self-worth.